Once in a while this stuff just comes back to me.

In college I had a drawing teacher I really respected and who's opinion I valued deeply. I would often bring work by his classroom to seek out meaningful critique I couldn't find elsewhere. He would offer suggestions on what direction the work could go in if I were to push certain elements. He would cite artists and works that I might want to study for reference and gain inspiration from. In the disaster that those years were for me, it was a great relief to gain insight that was of actual benefit.

My senior year I was working on a group of paintings for my thesis and the work was taking some twists and starting to not make sense to me. It seemed like the work could get really interesting, but I was sort of befuddled by it's direction. I explained the situation to the teacher and asked if he wouldn't mind coming by my studio at some point for a critique. He did so and we discussed what was happening. He offered some good advice as usual and pointed out some things that just plain didn't work. Afterwards, I was inspired and got to work right away.

Later that night, a friend stopped by and gave me a heads up. It seemed that he had overheard the teacher telling another student that my paintings were "the worst he had ever seen". Like a punch in the gut, the not accepted, misunderstood, embarrassed, stupid feeling that plagued every day of my college years rushed through me. I thought I was getting somewhere with this work. How could someone I looked to for valued input for the past four years suddenly jam a knife in my back and stoop to juvenile gossip? If the work sucked so bad why didn't he just say so? That would've been a lot more useful. Respect. To find out that someone I'd held in high regard had no respect for me at all was more painful than any other embarrassment I endured there.

It also taught me one of the most valuable lessons any creative type can learn.

At the opening of the senior show in which the finished paintings hung, he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "The work looks great".